


First Time Sexting

by Saffo



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Masturbation, Sexting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23536810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saffo/pseuds/Saffo
Summary: Amanda's living for Olivia's text messages.  But just how far is she going to take it?
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Amanda Rollins
Comments: 35
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: these beautiful characters do not belong to me

Amanda smiled when her phone buzzed. Texting with Olivia had become a regular thing now, mostly late at night when the kids were asleep. Mainly they just chatted about stupid shit, and made each other laugh. Texts from Olivia were a welcome antidote to the stress of work; she hadn’t realized just how lacking in lightness and laughter her life had actually been, until she and Olivia became friends like this. 

_Whatcha doin?_ Came Olivia’s text. 

_Just finished watching a movie,_ Amanda texted back. 

_Which one? Any good?_

Amanda hesitated before replying. _Some random one called Magnolia Ice. And yes._ She smirked to herself; she wasn’t going to tell Olivia what it was about. 

_Oh, I saw that one. It was really good._

Amanda froze. It had been a lesbian romance, and had ended up being steamier than she had anticipated. She had no idea what the hell to reply to Olivia. 

_Yeah, I liked it. Anyway, what are you up to?_

She would change the subject, yes. 

But Olivia wouldn’t. _That hot tub scene was incredible_. 

Amanda choked on nothing. That had indeed been her favorite scene, but she couldn’t believe Olivia was choosing that to comment on. Why couldn’t she have, instead, shared trivia about the director or complimented the scenery, since it was shot on location in New Zealand? Amanda groaned, and rubbed her face in frustration. It just figures that here she was sitting here with her clit still throbbing - these movies did that to her - and Olivia just had to mention the scene in which the protagonist was masturbating in her hot tub while fantasizing about a female co-worker. The fuck?!

Amanda was taking a ridiculously long time to text back, and she knew that if she didn’t say something soon, Olivia was probably going to think she did something wrong and back away from this conversation. Part of Amanda knew she should think carefully about going down this road with Olivia, because it could get real messy real fast, but when had that ever stopped her? 

_That was my favorite part_ , she admitted. 

Olivia’s text came quickly. _I have a similar jacuzzi in my apartment._

Oh FOR FUCK’S SAKE, OLIVIA. Amanda’s whole body flushed. Olivia did not just say that. How the fuck had they gotten here, when last night, they had only been texting about caprese salad recipes. All of a sudden Amanda could not get the image of a naked Olivia, immersed in a jacuzzi with a water jet pounding her pussy, out of her mind. Her own pussy was practically having a seizure now. 

_Lucky you. Sorry, Liv, Billie’s crying - TTYL_

Annoyed with herself for chickening out by lying about the baby waking up, Amanda didn’t even wait for a reply. She tossed her phone under a throw pillow on the couch, crawled into bed in the dark, and reached between her legs to attempt to deal with this on her own. 

* * * 

In the morning, Amanda was very nearly late to work, rushing in with messy hair and clutching a coffee cup four ounces larger than her usual. She was hastily trying to take off her jacket and get organized at her desk, when Olivia approached, looking way too polished and put together in a crisp, navy blazer. Her hair was perfect. Her eyes bore into Amanda’s, and in them was a tiny spark of amusement. 

“Sleep okay, Amanda?” Olivia asked with smirk, and Amanda gaped at her for a moment, disbelieving. 

“Uh, tossed and turned a bit more than usual,” she replied, and she could feel herself blushing and couldn’t stop it. She was fidgeting now, pushing her hair behind her ear, rustling a stack of papers on her desk that actually didn’t need to be moved. Olivia, fucking Olivia, stood there calmly, hands in her pockets, just watching. She was standing too close. Amanda forced herself to not think about what she had done in her bed last night while thinking about the text conversation with Olivia, and prayed for the phone to ring. No such luck, but at least Fin came by at that moment and started rambling about something, and the tension was broken. 

Somehow, Amanda made it through the workday without bursting into flames or melting into a puddle. Actually, when there was a perp who fled across a warehouse parking lot, Amanda was the first to give chase, and damn was that a good release. Her leg muscles burned as her feet pounded into the pavement, and flooded with adrenaline, she threw herself at the asshole. He slammed into the ground so satisfyingly, his nose grinding into the asphalt, and Amanda was panting as she yanked his wrists together behind his back. “You’re under arrest for distribution of child pornography and…” she began, and Olivia flew around the corner then, panting herself as she watched Amanda tighten the cuffs and read him his rights. Once Amanda had the perp on his feet and handed him over to the nearest uniformed officer to put in the back of a squad car, she stood there in front of Olivia, trying to catch her breath. They had both been running hard. She watched Olivia’s chest heaving. 

* * * 

Around 11:15 PM, Amanda couldn’t take it any longer. She had been trying not to text Olivia, but… screw it. 

_Hey, Liv. How’s your night going?_

_Boring. Yours?_

Amanda chuckled. _Probably more boring than yours, considering I’m just icing my swollen knee._ She had gotten a bit banged up during the perp chase earlier in the day. 

_Ouch. Sorry. That does sound worse than my night, because I at least have a movie going._

Oh, no, Amanda groaned to herself. She reluctantly texted back to ask what it was, praying it was something like Forrest Gump. But no. 

_Paulette & Naomi. Have you seen it yet? _

No, Amanda hadn’t, but considering the title was two women’s names, she was guessing this was nothing as innocuous as Forrest Gump and it would be dangerous for her to look up on whatever streaming service it - 

_Hulu. You should check it out,_ Olivia continued, interrupting Amanda’s thoughts. 

Amanda took a deep breath. She could be mature about this, yes, she could. 

_Oh yeah? What’s it about?_ (Please, please, let it have a plot). 

_Pretty self-explanatory - it’s about Paulette and Naomi. They meet on vacation in Oahu and fall in love. Or at least lust. Not sure about the love part yet._

Huh. _Does it have a hot tub?_ Amanda teased, adding a winking emoji. This was an okay conversation to be having, right? They had talked about movies many times. They were friends. They were both bisexual, and they both knew it, so really, she could be an adult about this. 

_No, but there’s an ocean._

_Hmm. What happens with the ocean?_

Amanda waits, feeling that her knee is now numb with cold and she should probably go put the ice pack away. Just as she’s about to, Olivia replies. 

_Paulette and Naomi attempt to have sex in the ocean, because it seems romantic, but it turns out not to be because when you’re so buoyant and there’s nothing to brace yourself against, you can’t get enough leverage/pressure, so it’s frustrating. So they were really aroused with no release._

Amanda could unfortunately relate. 

_How frustrating. Does it have a happy ending, at least?_

_I’m not done with the movie yet. But that scene does, at least - the two of them highjack a man’s yacht, push him overboard to get some privacy, then fuck like crazy on the bottom of the boat._

Oh good God. What could Amanda possibly say to that? She wanted to know details. Were they naked? Or did one of them yank aside the other’s bikini cup to suck on her nipple? Mmm, was there oral? She refrained from asking anything. 

_Sounds good. I’ll let you finish watching it._

There was a long pause, and Amanda assumed Olivia had, indeed, returned to watching her (riveting, lesbian, sex-filled) movie instead of texting with her. That is, until Olivia suddenly texted: 

_Is the ice helping your knee? You could always try an epsom salt bath._

Amanda scoffed. _My tub is the size of a postage stamp. My knee wouldn’t even fit in it, even if I had epsom salts._

 _I have a large jacuzzi._

Amanda burst out laughing. She had walked right into that one, hadn’t she. Olivia was kidding, right? She was going to pretend Olivia was not suggesting Amanda go get in her jacuzzi. She was going to pretend to not understand. 

_Yeah, yeah. Rub it in._

_Mmmm_ was all Olivia texted back, and Amanda, once again, did not know what to do or say or how to take that. 

_I gotta go,_ she typed to Olivia. _Enjoy your movie. And your jacuzzi._

She closed her eyes, once again unable to stop the visions of her boss, naked and wet, in the hot tub, pleasuring herself… Amanda herself was now getting wet. This was torture. 

_I intend to,_ Olivia wrote back. With a winking emoji, followed by puckered lips. More heat flooded Amanda. This was so surreal. Olivia Benson was really flirting with her? I mean, that’s what this was, right? This was beyond typical girl talk or general chit chat about movies. This was… Amanda didn’t know what this was, but she knew that she’d soon be in bed making love to herself while fantasizing about her best friend (and _boss_ ) for the second goddamn night in a row.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gettin' smutty...

When Amanda woke up in the morning, at the crack of dawn to the sound of Billie crying with hunger, she thought about whether or not she should attempt to have a conversation with Olivia about what was going on. Would that just ruin it? Should she try and just “go with the flow” a little longer, and see what happened?

By the time she had situated her kids with their babysitter and arrived at the station, Amanda hadn’t actually made a decision one way or the other, but the decision was made for her by the ringing phone. The team had caught a child abduction case, which took 115% focus and concentration, and thus ruled out the possibility of any personal conversations. Child abduction cases were so all-consuming she and her colleagues barely even took the time to eat or sleep, never mind talk with each other about anything other than the case.

It was a grueling 68 hours. No one on the team went home until that 6-year-old girl did, and thank all that is holy, she _did_ make it home, thanks to the SVU. The child had spent the majority of that time chained in a dog house in the backyard of a mentally incapacitated sex offender, which was sure to have inflicted trauma that she would be dealing with for years to come, but at least the child was now alive and in her mother’s arms, instead of on an autopsy table. Amanda, like everyone else on the team, was bone tired. She had had maybe two hours of sleep in the crib, two or three times over the course of the two and a half days. About 14 hours into those 68 hours, Amanda was stressing because her babysitter couldn’t stay much longer, and Olivia saved the day yet again by offering to have Lucy watch Billie and Jesse along with Noah. What would they ever do without Lucy, Amanda wondered.

Now, it was nearly 2 AM, and Olivia and Amanda had gotten a ride back to Olivia’s place, too exhausted to drive. Noah, Billie, and Jesse were all asleep in Noah’s room. Lucy was asleep in the guest room. The two mothers stood in the doorway of the kids’ room, just staring, breathing, watching their children breathe. Their safe, unharmed, unmolested children. Amanda knew Olivia was feeling the same chaotic mixture of relief, pain, fierce love, guilt, and protectiveness she herself always felt when returning home to her children after a child abduction case. The tears that glistened in Amanda’s eyes matched the ones that slid from Olivia’s. Amanda was aching to go gather her babies in her arms and hug them tight, but she knew better than to wake them up at this hour, especially when she was so exhausted she could barely stand.

Olivia’s mind was one step ahead of Amanda’s. “Don’t wake them, ‘Manda. Just sleep here tonight.”

Amanda nodded, but then remembered that Lucy was in the only guest room. Well, there was the couch.

“You can sleep in my bed with me,” Olivia added. There was a long pause, as Amanda looked at Olivia. “C’mon, I won’t bite,” Olivia said, more with fatigue than a sense of teasing, and Amanda smiled a small smile.

“Yeah. We’re both too tired to bite.” And with that, the two collapsed into Olivia’s bed, with most of their clothes still on, and were asleep within seconds. Neither awoke until 5:45 AM, when Billie’s wails pierced the air.

“Oh no oh no oh no,” Amanda groaned into her pillow. “Please baby please please just ten more minutes.” She was talking to Billie, futile as it was. Olivia, bleary-eyed with her rumpled hair sticking up all over the place, reached out for her cell phone. “I’m texting Lucy down the hall and asking if she’ll give us a few more hours to sleep.”

Amanda, her face still smushed into the pillow, her eyes too heavy to open, moaned in gratitude. “Thank you I love you tell her I’ll pay her double and a bottle of wine.” Olivia chuckled, slung an arm over Amanda’s torso, and was snoring again seconds later.

Amanda must have fallen back asleep immediately after, because when she was next conscious, sunlight was streaming through the window. Olivia’s arm was still slung over her, and Olivia was now wide awake, gazing calmly at Amanda. She gazed back. Neither of them moved, nor smiled… just stared. Amanda would normally have been thrilled to be waking up with Olivia’s arm around her, in Olivia’s bed, but not under these circumstances. Her body, the air in the room, felt like cement. She could not get that chained six-year-old out of her head. Olivia, she knew, understood. Amanda found Olivia’s hand, gave it a quick squeeze, and climbed out of bed. They got dressed silently, efficiently, and went down the hall to start the coffee pot and hug their children tight.

* * *

It was a good six nights later when Amanda and Olivia resumed their late-night texting. Amanda initiated, and was feeling strangely nervous, which was probably because she was in a… dangerous mood tonight. Wanting to push the envelope.

But, dammit, the timing was all wrong, despite the fact that Olivia texted back so quickly.

_Oh, tonight is not a good movie night at all. Noah had a nightmare and is now awake with me in the living room. We are watching Finding Nemo._

Amanda frowned. _Sorry, Liv._

_Please watch something more exciting, and tell me about it tomorrow night. Okay?_

Hopeful she was correctly reading between the lines here, Amanda agreed. She signed off with a kissy face emoji, which Olivia returned times three, along with the words _Night hon_.

* * * *

The next night, Olivia texted Amanda at 9:12, asking if the kids were asleep yet. Grinning, Amanda replied that they were. Olivia texted back a bit of chit chat, and Amanda responded, pretending like she wasn’t eager for Olivia to start asking her about movies again. But then it occurred to her, Olivia so far had been the one steering all of this. Maybe it was Amanda’s turn to take it a step further.

 _So, are you wondering which movie I watched last night?_ She asked.

 _Of course_ , came Olivia’s reply. Amanda so wished she could see Olivia right now. She tried to imagine her in her pajamas.

_Well, I didn’t actually watch one. I found one I thought we’d both enjoy, and wondered if you wanted to watch it “together” tonight. You know, by pressing “play” at the same time._

She and her best friend in high school used to do that all the time, when they weren’t allowed to actually be at each other’s houses. They’d stay on the phone with each other while watching movies. Of course, John Hughes teenybopper films were a world away from what Amanda had in mind tonight. She held her breath while waiting for Olivia’s reply.

_Sounds intriguing, Rollins. What did you have in mind?_

Amanda was nervous. Why was she so nervous? She texted Olivia the title and the streaming platform on which to find it, leaving it up to Olivia to read the synopsis. It involved a woman who was in an unhappy marriage, preparing for a marathon, crushing on her (hot, female) trainer. Cue the steamy affair. It looked plenty explicit without being actual pornography, and was directed by a woman, which made it seem a bit more trustworthy.

Olivia texted back quicker than Amanda would have anticipated. _Oh, yes. This was a great one, you’ll love it._

_Oh no, you’ve seen it? We should find one you haven’t seen already._

_Naah, it’s okay. That might take too long._

Amanda snorted with laughter. _Holy shit, Liv. You’ve really seen that many? Never mind, don’t answer that._

After a few more texts to make sure this movie was an okay one, Amanda settled in her bed with her laptop with the movie cued up. Her door was closed, for extra privacy. Jesse was a heavy sleeper, and there were about four hours before Billie would wake up in need of a bottle, if Amanda was lucky. As agreed upon, Amanda waited for Olivia to text ‘play,’ then immediately hit the ‘play’ button on her laptop.

For a while, Amanda and Olivia exchanged silly texts about how dorky the husband was, and about the odd choices for the soundtrack, and so on and so forth. Amanda kept texting Olivia with questions and predictions about what was going to happen, and Olivia was merely a tight-lipped tease in return, urging Amanda to just “wait and see.”

Then, when the trainer was introduced - wearing deliciously tight and revealing workout clothes, of course - Amanda texted Olivia, _Wow, her hair is gorgeous._

 _Yours is even more gorgeous,_ Olivia replied, and Amanda’s face split into a grin.

 _You’re sweet,_ she texted Olivia.

_Except when I’m salty._

Amanda snorted again. This woman.

When the ‘training’ sessions soon became full of flirting and innuendo, Amanda began to feel a little warm. The trainer was ‘assisting’ the woman with some hip stretches on a yoga mat, and was actually starting to rub the ‘tight muscles’ in the woman’s inner thigh, which made them both breathe heavily. They leaned forward, as if about to kiss…

 _Hot_ , was all Amanda texted.

On screen, the phone rang, startling the women apart. But a few scenes later, there was a glorious sex scene, even if it was only in the woman’s imagination while she lay in bed thinking about her trainer. Without even thinking about it, Amanda reached under her shirt to cup her breast in her hand, feeling heat between her legs. Her phone buzzed with an incoming text. Part of her couldn’t pry her attention off of the screen, but she picked up her phone.

_Are you wet, Amanda?_

OH FUCCKK, Amanda sure was NOW. She could ignore that, she could play it coy, she could…

_Oh fuck, Liv. Yes._

Amanda squeezed her nipple, which sent a jolt of electricity to her clit. She stared at the words on her screen. This couldn’t really be happening.

 _Me too,_ Olivia offered. Amanda moaned outright. Olivia Benson had really just texted her, while watching a lesbian sex scene, to tell her that she was wet. It only increased Amanda’s wetness to imagine Olivia’s.

_Are you touching yourself, Liv?_

Amanda could be bold, too. She squeezed her breasts, trailed her fingers lightly on her inner thighs, which were now quivering. Dear God she wished the fingers were Olivia’s.

_I very much want to. But I’m so wet, and if it gets all over my hands, I won’t be able to text you anymore. This is a dilemma._

Amanda laughed in spite of herself. Did she dare actually call Olivia? Or was that taking it too far? She honestly wasn’t sure she could handle hearing Olivia’s voice right now.

 _I’m rubbing my breasts and squeezing my nipples,_ she texted back to Olivia. _I understand and relate to your dilemma._

Amanda groaned quietly. Her nipples were rock hard. Her clit was throbbing relentlessly, and really needed some attention soon.

_Sounds amazing. Tell me more. Please._

Oh, God. Amanda’s wetness increased, knowing Olivia was so interested in Amanda’s arousal she was practically begging to know more.

_I’m so, so wet. My clit is throbbing and I really need to touch myself soon. How about you?_

She couldn’t wait. She reached a hand into her underwear, now sopping wet, and slipped a finger into her vagina. Her other hand held her phone eagerly.

_Fuck, yess, Amanda. Do it. Please make yourself come sweetie._

Amanda cried out, jamming two fingers hard into her pussy. Another text came quickly.

_T ypingg one hand n ow_

Using all of her willpower, which was hard because her right hand was now on her clit, and she couldn’t stop thinking about what Olivia’s other hand was doing, Amanda used her left hand to laboriously type a reply -

_Yes liv. Cum noww_

She then let go of her phone entirely, to grasp her breast with her left hand, rolling and twisting her nipple, while her other hand rubbed furiously on her clit, occasionally delving back into her vagina to gather more wetness. She writhed, and thrust her pelvis, and concentrated closely on getting the pressure and rhythm and speed of her fingers just right against her swollen clit. It wasn’t until she began whispering “Liv, Liv, Liv, Liv” under her breath like a desperate mantra that her orgasm actually rippled through her, tingling even to the soles of her feet.

Amanda lay there, panting, trembling. The orgasm had helped somewhat, but at the same time, only fueled Amanda’s desire to have Olivia there in the bed with her. This was suddenly excruciating. With a sigh, she got up and went to the bathroom to wash her hands, so that she could pick up her phone again. But now, she didn’t even know what to say.

_Did you cum, Liv?_

She waited. She texted again. _I did._

Olivia texted back. _Yes. Damn I needed that. My vibrator never lets me down._

Ungh, that image. Olivia with her legs spread, back arched with need, vibrator humming at her clit. Amanda was dying.

 _Sounds amazing_ was Amanda’s clipped reply.

 _Tell me how you made yourself come_ Olivia prodded.

_I put my fingers inside, two at once, and then rubbed my clit hard and fast_

Olivia wanted more, of course she did. _What did you think about?_

Amanda’s reply was simple, one simple word, but terrifying. She couldn’t do it, and instead, talked about the scene in the movie.


	3. Chapter 3

The next afternoon, Amanda and Olivia wound up going together to try and locate a potential witness.Olivia drove.Once they had reached the address and were standing on the doorstep waiting for a response to Amanda’s knock, there was a long pause - it was the first real quiet moment the two women had shared all day.The car ride had been spent discussing the strategy they’d use questioning the witness, and how the strategy might have to change if the 5-year-old twins the woman sometimes cared for were present.There was no answer and Amanda knocked again.Amanda met Olivia’s eyes, and although Olivia tried to keep her face expressionless, Amanda couldn’t help feeling a bit dizzy as she looked into those brown eyes and searched for a hint of emotion regarding what had happened last night.Olivia looked so professional, as always.So confident, strong.But last night…

There was no answer to their third knock, so Amanda and Olivia tried the side door, the back yard, and the garage, but still couldn’t find anyone.They would have to re-group back at the station and figure out their next steps.

Once back in the car, Amanda took a deep breath.“About last night…” she began.

Olivia cut her off.“No.Not at work, Amanda.”

Amanda’s eyebrows shot up.“It’s just the two of us in the car right now, Olivia.No one can hear us.”

“No, we can’t discuss this at work.I’m really serious about that.It has to stay completely separate.”

Olivia’s voice was so stern that Amanda felt it in the pit of her stomach.“Okay,” she said, more quietly than she intended.She stared out the window.They couldn’t talk about “it” at work?What, exactly _was_ “it”?

Olivia, sensing Amanda’s distress, softened her voice slightly.“I don’t mean to sound off-putting, Amanda.I do… want it to continue,” she said carefully.Amanda glanced over.Olivia offered a small smile.“But if it comes to affect our work, I will stop entirely.”

Amanda nodded.She got the message loud and clear.But the part of it that was still muddied was what exactly “it” was.She supposed she could ask Olivia later on tonight when they were texting.Hell, she could even call her; what a novel idea.It felt to Amanda like things were getting a little out of hand.They had to talk about…whatever it was they were doing.On the other hand, she was scared that talking about it outright would ruin it, in a way.And right now their nights “together” were fun, and sexy, and God, Amanda needed that in her life.As much as she wanted to actually have Olivia in her bed, maybe this - sexting across the city, each from the privacy of their own home - was the best she could hope for.Amanda was terrified that if she actually, really propositioned Olivia, Olivia would just shoot her down.She wasn’t ready for rejection.After all, Olivia was her boss.They both knew that having sex with each other would be… unethical and unprofessional.Honestly, Amanda was shocked that Olivia was even sexting with her.The idea of _Amanda_ sleeping with a coworker or boss would shock no one who knew her, but Olivia was known for being careful, professional, and “by the book.” Minus those rumors of her and Alex Cabot back in the day, which Amanda had never had the guts to ask her about.But anyway, Amanda thought, maybe she was damn lucky that Olivia was even masturbating to thoughts of her in her own apartment.Maybe in Olivia’s mind, that was acceptable because it didn’t officially count as “having sex with a subordinate,” and that’s how she justified it to herself.Maybe if Amanda attempted or asked for real, physical contact, Olivia would jump ship.

Amanda heaved a sigh, and couldn’t seem to wipe the frustration off of her face as she glanced over at Olivia.

“Well, later tonight, I want to talk, then,” she said flatly.Olivia pursed her lips and said nothing.They drove the rest of the way in silence.

Later that night, although Amanda had fully intended to have an actual conversation with Olivia about what was going on between them, she then couldn’t bring herself to do it.Maybe she was chickenshit, or maybe she was just a disaster as usual, but suddenly she didn’t want to start a _conversation_ \- especially not one that could result in the end of whatever-it-was they had going on.She wanted an orgasm. 

So Amanda texted Olivia.She was tempted to send her an inappropriate photo, but instead she wrote simply: _Hi_

_Hi yourself_ , came Olivia’s instant reply. _What are you doing?_

_Thinking about you._ Amanda was taking a chance.Did Olivia realize Amanda was way more focused on her than the movies?

_What a coincidence.I was thinking about you, too._

A dopey grin spread across Amanda’s face.

Olivia kept texting. _I’m also watching this movie on YouTube, Stung._

_HEY, you started without me??_ Amanda accused.She got even more indignant as Olivia took several minutes to text back.While she was waiting, Amanda peeked in Billie’s bedroom door once more to make sure she was asleep, then locked herself in her own bedroom.She opened her laptop and clicked on YouTube.

Olivia responded. _I was about to text you.I just had to make sure this was the movie I was hoping it was.I heard it was good but I got it confused with another one with a similar name, that was ruined by one of the women drowning herself._

_I fuckin hate the queer movies that end in death_ Amanda replied. _So is Stung a good one?With no dying?_

Olivia assured her that Stung was not the one in which anyone died. 

Amanda wrote back, _Wait… I think I heard about this movie.Is it the one with the 12-minute sex scene, and it got banned in like six countries??_

_If there is such a scene, I hope it’s not censored!_ Olivia replied.

Amanda now had the movie playing, but the beginning seemed really slow, and she didn’t know what part Olivia was at.She was feeling impatient - she texted Olivia to ask what part she was at, and to ask if Olivia wanted to start the movie over from the beginning so they could sync it, or if she should just skip ahead to the part Olivia was at, but really she didn’t even care about the movie.She just wanted Olivia.

_This movie’s kinda slow.Let’s try and skip ahead to a good part._

Olivia agreed, and Amanda set to work fast-forwarding and looking for a sex scene or at least some kissing.So what if she was acting like a horny 15-year-old.Suddenly, her phone buzzed with a text.

_Jackpot - strap-on at 42:36.Hmm, and she kinda looks like you._

Amanda gasped, and set the cursor at 42 minutes and 36 seconds in.Then she groaned in frustration.

_LIVVV, no one’s even WEARING the strap-on.They’re just standing there looking at it in a DRAWER??_

She could almost feel Olivia laughing at her. _Patience, darling._ She added a winking emoji.

Amanda huffed. _I have no patience right now for a strap-on that is sitting pathetically in a drawer._

_And what do you want to see happening with the strap-on, Amanda?Tell me._

Oh, game on, Benson, Amanda thought to herself.She grinned a wicked grin. _I want to see full-frontal nudity, and I want the woman with the blond hair to wear the strap-on, and to reach between the woman with the brown hair’s legs to feel if she’s ready for that strap-on to go inside of her._

There was a long, long pause.Amanda waited and hated waiting.The movie was playing in the background but she didn’t care about it. She stared at her phone, as if that would make Olivia's reply come any faster.

_And what makes you think the woman with the blond hair gets to wear the strap-on?I bet the woman with the brown hair puts it on first._

Amanda simultaneously laughed and choked.She was actually arguing with Olivia fucking Benson over who gets to wear the strap-on.Suddenly the images in Amanda’s mind were so vivid her whole body flushed.Olivia.In a strap-on.Holy _fuck_.

Amanda wasn’t going to last much longer.She needed to touch herself. _Maybe they could use a double-ended dildo, Liv._

__

She didn’t even wait for Olivia’s reply before beginning to rub herself, through her underwear.What was Olivia going to say to that idea?What would Olivia _do_ , if she were here in this bed with Amanda?Amanda could think of dozens of ideas.Her phone buzzed.

_Amazing idea from that brilliant mind of yours.I’m sure that when the woman with the blond hair reaches between the womn with the brown hair’s legs, she’ll find her very,very wet and readyy.No matter where hte strap-on is._

Oh, God.Now Amanda was throbbing with need.Even Olivia’s typos were a turn-on, because Amanda had come to recognize those typos as a sign that Olivia was losing control, too, and she loved it.It was hard to type back, but she managed - _I’M so fucking wet._

Amanda was going to be brave tonight.Just as Olivia texted to say she had her hand between her legs, Amanda bit the bullet and _called_ her.The phone rang three times, and just when she was sure Olivia wasn’t going to answer, she did.

“Amanda.”Olivia’s voice was breathy, surprised.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d pick up,” Amanda admitted.“But I…wanted to hear you.”

Olivia made an unintelligible noise, and Amanda wondered if she was trying to dial back her arousal and change gears.

“Please keep doing what you’re doing,” she whispered, her own hand trailing to her slick center, and Olivia whimpered.

“Amanda,” Olivia breathed again, “What are _you_ doing?”

“Hopefully the same thing you are,” Amanda replied.She dipped her finger into herself, and let out a hot breath into the phone.

“Mmm,” Olivia whimpered again, and Amanda’s wetness increased. 

“Liv,” she asked quietly, “Can you tell me what you’re doing?”She slowly pumped two fingers in and out of her pussy.

“I…I…” Olivia stammered, breathing heavily.Amanda noted with interest that while Olivia was so bold via text, she was now sounding so nervous.

“Please,” Amanda coaxed.

“I…my fingers…” Olivia was still stammering. Amanda tried to picture her. Was she lying down, with her eyes closed? Amanda withdrew her fingers for a moment to reach inside her shirt - she smeared her own wetness on her left nipple, then pinched and twisted it. Hard.

“Yes, Liv.Your fingers.Are they inside?”

“Yeesss,” Olivia half-groaned, and Amanda shivered with want.She wanted to know what the inside of Olivia’s vagina felt like.Heaven, no doubt.She spread her legs wider, and plunged her fingers back in.

“I have two fingers inside, Olivia, and I’m soooo wet, you wouldn’t believe it.”

Amanda grinned when Olivia’s only response was a wordless, strangled sound, and panting.

“Are you as wet as I am, Liv?” she continued, loving it when she heard Olivia panting more now, and maybe it was just her imagination, but she swore she could hear the sound of Olivia’s fingers slick with arousal, moving in and out. She did the same, and then moved her fingers up to her clit.

“And you know what?” Amanda was really pushing her luck here, but Olivia replied, “What??” with such desperation that Amanda knew she was close.

“I wish the fingers rubbing my clit were yours.”

Boom.She _said_ it.Olivia cried out, and began making this high-pitched sound Amanda had never heard from her before, interspersed with the F word several times, and oh God, she fucking _came_ , right there on the phone.Amanda could tell.

“Ohmygod, Liv,” she moaned, and began rubbing furiously at her swollen clit. Her legs were now quivering. The noises coming from Olivia were so fucking intoxicating.

“Amanda, yes, pretend I’m touching you,” Olivia gasped out.“I want…to…make you come.” 

The woman could barely talk.Amanda could barely breathe.“Come on, baby,” Olivia encouraged, quietly, and at being called “baby,” Amanda flew over the edge.The orgasm swarmed her body like hot lava.She rode the wave, her vagina spasming so deliciously, and as she imagined Olivia’s tongue there, a fresh wave engulfed her.She cried out Olivia’s name.She couldn’t help it.For the next minute or so, she and Olivia simply panted into the phone, trying to regain their breath.

“Ohmygod, Olivia,” Amanda finally said again.

“I know,” Olivia agreed.“That was incredible. _You_ are incredible.”

Amanda breathed in, breathed out.“I imagined your tongue between my legs,” she whispered into the phone.

Olivia groaned again.“Oh god, oh god… fuck, Amanda, you’re gonna make me come again.”

Amanda grinned.“ _Can_ you go again?You sound so fucking hot.”

Olivia whined a high-pitched whine.Amanda was dying to tell Olivia that she needed her, needed to touch her for _real_ , but she stopped herself.She wasn’t going to push Olivia.And besides, they both had sleeping children at home; it wouldn’t be possible for one of them to go to the other’s house anyway, even if Olivia did, by some miracle, agree to take that next step.

“I wish…” Amanda began, in spite of herself.

“I know, sweetie,” Olivia replied, so quietly, a similar ache in her voice.Neither of them said any more.Amanda wondered if she should end the phone call.She didn’t know what to say anymore.Damn was this frustrating.

“We should probably get off the phone,” Olivia said quietly, as if reading Amanda’s thoughts.

“Yeah,” Amanda reluctantly agreed.

“I hope your body is good and relaxed and ready for sleep,” Olivia added.

Amanda snorted a laugh.“If only I could turn my brain off.”

Olivia chuckled in response, but Amanda could hear a twinge of sadness in it. “I’ll be thinking of you, sweetie,” she murmured.

Amanda’s chest swelled.“See you in the morning, Liv.”

She hung up the phone, washed her hands, brushed her teeth, fell into bed.She stared at the ceiling for two hours before eventually falling asleep.And yet, she woke up a mere 90 minutes later, not because of Billie this time, but because her heart was beating too fast.Weren’t orgasms supposed to help you sleep, not give you anxiety and keep you up?Amanda heaved a sigh, and flipped her pillow over to see if the other side was more comfortable.She turned to the her side, facing away from the glowing red numbers on her alarm clock.She tried to not think about Olivia.She thought about Olivia.

* * * *

As the days went on, Amanda wasn’t sure how to handle what was happening - or rather, _not_ happening - between her and Olivia.Her feelings for Olivia were growing, her desire to touch and be touched by Olivia _for real_ now overwhelming.Amanda needed a friend to analyze all of this with and get some advice from, but unfortunately, she no longer really had friends.Her life was work and parenting.And Olivia.There was no way Amanda was going to talk with any of her colleagues about this situation.What was she going to do?

What she did was put on her rattiest sweatpants, grab a pint of Cherry Garcia out of the freezer, and settle onto the couch with the remote.She put her phone on silent, vowing to ignore it even if it vibrated, and set to work scrolling through the movie and TV options on Hulu.She ignored the queer movies in her queue, and settled on Parks & Recreation - smart, funny, light.That should keep her mind off of things.

It did, for a couple hours, and Amanda even ignored her phone when it vibrated at 10:37 PM and she knew it was probably Olivia.But just as she was climbing into bed for the night, around midnight, she bit her lip and peeked at the screen - it was indeed a text from Olivia.Two of them.The first simply said, _What are you wearing, Sexy?_ , with a winking smile.It was followed 15 minutes later with a photo, a close-up of Olivia’s breasts in her black lace bra.Amanda swallowed hard.What was Olivia thinking, with Amanda not responding?Amanda stared for a few more seconds, then put her phone down on the nightstand and turned off the light.She hated to admit it, but she was scared.She was scared that her feelings for Olivia were becoming too strong - maybe for Olivia, this was just fun, flirting like this, occasionally masturbating over the phone while they watched sexy movies together.Maybe that’s all Olivia wanted.Amanda wanted, needed _more_.She was scared of Olivia shooting her down, and then her feeling like an idiot.This was no longer feeling flirty and fun to Amanda - it was feeling sad, and lonely.Amanda’s bed was empty, and the sheets felt cold.

* * * *

Two days later, Amanda was caught off guard when Jesse suddenly demanded a playdate with Noah, whining about how she hadn’t seen him in “eighty eleventy months, Momma.”Amanda grinned, in spite of herself.Getting the kids together for a playdate might just be perfect.It would give Amanda and Olivia time to talk, hopefully.It’s not like they would be able to _do anything_ together while the kids were there, or even have a long and in-depth conversation, but surely Amanda could find some way to test the waters.Maybe if Noah and Jesse were occupied in Jesse’s room, and if Billie napped.

Amanda took a deep breath, and texted Olivia to ask if she and Noah were free on Saturday to come over, per Jesse’s request.She wasn’t sure how Olivia was going to respond.It had been two nights since Olivia had texted her the photo of herself, and Amanda still hadn’t responded, which she could tell was bothering Olivia.Understandably.Yesterday at work, Olivia had been completely professional and business-like, avoiding unnecessary eye contact with Amanda no matter how much Amanda tried to catch her eye.She knew she should reply to the text message, but she just didn’t know what to say.She wanted to say too much, and so she said nothing at all.


End file.
